Of Jackets and Whimisicalism
by Aixyutin
Summary: It is a Tuesday. Hinata tends to have her bad days on Tuesday. However, today, she's very foolishly forgotten that small fact. And her sister, and her cousin, just feel they just had to take advantage. Thank goodness for the chivalry of a certain Uchiha.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: No, this is not _Scarves_. Rather, this was something I conjured up while brainstorming about _Scarves..._ it is my first try at cracki-ness, so please, bear with me.

But for now, I hope you enjoy _Of Jackets and Whimisical-ism _

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto®… I own the plot, the writing style, and a Naruto® Sakura figurine, who I have commited voodoo-ism on constantly over the past years.

Dedication: This is a gift for you, Noctalis Noctis. Maybe it will be some incentive to get you writing...

* * *

It all started one beautfiul spring aftenoon. 

The sun was high, everything was positively _peachy_.

The infamous Hyuuga sisters were gathered in a "random" training area, taking a breather from their usual afternoon sparring session.

It was one of those_ random_ days where Hanabi Hyuuga took to scrutinizing her sister. From topics such as her sister's never dying fandom for a certain blond airhead, to her shyness, and finally to her clothes- and from her clothes, to Hinata's very lousy taste in so called "style".

Though it is not a known fact to the observant public, Hanabi Hyuuga is very much interested in such terms as "fashion" and "style". Those are two key words in making friends with a cold sadist such as Hanabi. Hanabi likes matching colors, and it was only own obligation to the family dignity that exempted her from the opportunity of wear clashing dark purples and bright greens, and other garish combinations.

That day had been a sunny, beautiful, pleasant, spring afternoon, as mentioned above. It also happened to be a Tuesday. Hinata's bad days just seem to always appear on a Tuesday- a fact that the shy ninja had very foolishly forgotten.

Already, the Heiress should have suspected something when she caught her younger sister observing her. _Silently_. Hanabi Hyuuga was not made for silence, and would never be. Blame it on her personality, which resembled fireworks too closely to be to Hinata's best taste.

Still, she had been too lethargic (after all, sunny off-days made her like that) to pay attention when, out of the blue, her inquisitive, sharp-tongued young sister decided to pop a very random question.

"Onee-san... why do you insist on wearing that _ridiculous _tan jacket?"

Of course, Hinata had let herself emit a slight indignant gasp, coupled with an indignant answer.

"It is not a _ridiculous _jacket. Rather... I'm quite fond of it." She finished lamely, as she chided her younger sibling.

"Che." How very... something. Someone. Hinata couldn't quite put her fingertips on it, but she felt she had heard that very phrase somewhere... vaguely...

"That's not very polite, Hanabi."

"As if I care, dear sister."

With a full-fledged smirk fostered from Neji's proper, and very exclusive private tutoring, Hanabi Hyuuga proceeded to strip Hinata of her very ridiculous, very absurd, very hot, bulky jacket.

As she struggled with her older sister, she fretted. Loudly. Whiningly.

"Reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyyyyy, onee-san. It's much too warm to wear that stupid jacket, and it really doesn't show off your figure. If I was being nice, I would say it gives you a very round, pleasant look... for an Akimichi. And beside, brown isn't a very flattering color on you. It makes you look like a wet dog. With dark blue bangs."

In which, Hinata gave a very loud indignant squeak- despite being a rather humble ninja, Hinata was _still _a Hyuuga with a covetted position as the _Heiress_. She had her pride- never would she be willing to be compared to a couth _Akimichi. _

They had struggled rather fiercely after that comment. And that day, both sisters realized things about each other.

Hanabi: She realized that Hinata was actually, very scarily, _strong_. During their tussle, she realized how often Hinata held back in their normal sparring sessions.

Hinata: She realized Hanabi wasn't just stuck up. She was a true, through and through, blue-blooded _brat_. But, being Hinata, she would never voice that, nor ever thint such dirty things... except for emergency situations like this.

Really, the training area soon became a din from their quarrels.

It was lucky that Neji had showed up when he did, or else Hinata was very close to going kudos on her little sister. Jyuuken, Byagukan, and all. Plus, the techniques she learnt from Shino, Kurenai, and Kiba.

You can tell she was _very _frazzled.

"What... are... you... two... doing?" Their older cousin carefully enunciated each syllable. Each word fell succinctly like cockroaches crawling in sticky syrups. Very gross syrup.

Neji looked very smug, leaning against a nearby thick Konoha evergreen tree trunk, his arms crossed, and his left eyebrow cocked for an effect of sarcasm. Slowly, and carefully, he acted very much like he was talking to two toddlers who still had troubles defining a shruiken from a kunai.

Both siblings looked up from their activity long enough to give a glare- though, in Hinata's case, it looked more like a chiding glance of disapproval, rather than a full out death-glare.

Of coarse, being Hanabi, she didn't skip the chance to hve a fellow ninja on _her _side of the story.

"Neeeejjjjjiiiiii-nii-san, tell Onee-san that she looks _absolutely _ridiculous in that _ridiculous _jacket, and she'll tarnish the Hyuuga name if she keeps cavorting in that _ridiculous _abomination."

Neji mused over his possible choices, as he watched a very dark and appalled Hinata looming behind a smiling, very sly Hanabi. As he did, he ran a hand through his long silky hair, taking his time to make his "professional opinion" over this "dilemma". Neji never fails to take advantage of his very feminine, very striking physique- he knows for a fact many females ogle him almost as much as they ogle the Uchiha bastard, and he's preening just to make an impression.

As always.

"...she's got a point, Hinata-sama."

Of course, Hinata had given another indignant gasp and squeak, giving Hanabi enough time to fully confiscate the _ridiculous _abomination that was Hinata's tan jacket.

And which, she promptly used the famed Uchiha elemental fire techniques, burning the jacket to sheer crisps of smoky ash.

"My _jacket!" _

Furious, the elder sister lunged at The-One-Who-Destroyed-Her-Beloved-Jacket. In reply and retaliation (the two deadly R's), The-One-Who-Destroyed-Her-Sister's-Ridiculous-Jacket leapt away...

Before connecting with a very firm, dark-blue-shirt clothed muscular male chest. (Yes, she's realized it was male, thank you.)

Bouncing back, (while rubbing her nose), she opened her mouth to give the intruder a very good lashing with her tongue... before realizing who said intruder was.

She felt a _very_ familiar, _very_ creepy, _very _well known dark aura descend upon the training area. And that was when Hanabi Hyuuga began to feel _very_, **very**, very small.

The Firecracker stood still for a moment... before cracking up (no pun intended) and quickly retreating away from her now relieved-looking sister. Neji had already moved forward, standing in front of his charges (which, of course, being the Hyuuga Heiresses, they would firmly deny), a frown on his face.

"What do you want?"

Said abovementioned dark, creepy aura fixed his cool dark black eyes on ALSO said mentioned glaring Neji.

"It isn't a typical afternoon when you arive at your team's training area and find tumbling Hyuugas."

"A...a...no... Uchiha-san?"

* * *

Like it? 

I'm not sure if I should continue it- I rarely write crack fics (leave juliagulia to write 'em for me). My friends persuaded me to post it... I'll continue writing it if it's in the public's best interest, but otherwise, I just might leave it like this...

Suffer.

Read and review. The rule of thumb: Don't expect reviews from others if you yourself don't review...


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Oh my goodness... here is the second chapter. And I thought I'll never get it done..

Love and kisses to my reviewers. You all rock, y'know?

And as Jecksy-Candy (account number 702359) said: BURN, jacket, BURN!!!!

Disclaimer: Not mine, though my dad might just be nice enough to buy it for me. :P

* * *

"Che..." At this point, our heroine, twitched. While it was usually quite out-of-character for her to do such a thing, one can always make exceptions. 

Since when did her little sister begin to enumerate the famous, or should I say, infamous Uchiha Sasuke?

Uchiha Sasuke tilted his head slightly, letting his dark spiky bangs (gel-orientated, but he'll never, ever admit it) fall over his dark eyes. It made a dramatic effect; he practiced it often in front of the mirror, having learnt it from Itachi.

"Uch-chi-ha-s-san..." Hinata's stuttered again, her face beet-red with embarressment, hands-writhing. her body stiff with agitation.

He snorted, before lazily stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Stop that."

The silence was absolutely nerve-wracking. Hinata felt her neck stiffen and prickle, and her fingers and hadns writhed even more, so agitated she was. The tension was crackling. Even Neji's patented hair was starting to stand up and frizz because of the static.

Hanabi took a more direct approach:

"Oi, Uchiha. What do you mean by, 'stop that'?" She even mimicked his oh-so cold, and arrogant tone.

His eyes narrowed, and he folds his arms nonchalently over his chest. The very same chest Hanabi had knocked into; a thought that, now Hanabi had time to consider, she felt an immense urge to spit and gag. Or jump with joy.

"Why should I explain to a brat like you?" Oh, the arrogance just returned in x100 full force!

"Wait just a minute Uchiha..." By now, Neji's hair was calmly combed back into perfection; and with the hair, he had plastered the perfect scowl back on his perfect, creamy white complexion of a face.

"A-no... Uchi-chi-ha-san... can you ca-care to ex-x-plain?"

Uchiha Sasuke flinched. There were a million worst-case scenarios whirling in his closet slightly perverted mind, both more appealing and more ridiculous than the last.

He decided to settle on scenario #55.

"I mean, stop that... fidgeting... and... stuttering... " he finally rasped, avoiding her eyes... only to settle on her chest.

Not good. No, Uchiha's were not attracted to nice... no, they were not... they... did not... enjoy... looking at...

He flicked his gaze even faster, turning to gaze at the ground. A rather rosy blush settled on his ears (thank goodness most of it was covered by his patented black spiky hair).

Neji was not pleased; while his dear beloved cousin was watching on with confused eyes, he was not. Rather, his eyes took on a slightly crazed look. It didn't take a genius to draw a line from the damn Uchiha's eyes to her... and just to check, he activated his Byagukan.

Yup, he had been most definetely checking out his cousin's-

Neji gagged, almost choking on his own (patented, long and shiny!) hair. As he began to spit out random shiny strands of silk, his mouth moved, making unintelligent, gutteral noises and squeaks. _Yes, squeaks! _

This much could be heard:

_"... I'll... mutha-effin... bast-ad... chop off his mutha-effin..."  
_  
The Uchiha in mention cocked an eyebrow.

Hanabi quickly clasped her hands over her innocent older sister's ears; there was no way of telling if Hinata could hear, but if the blush that was painted over her face was any explanation, Hanabi's action was like most good-intentioned actions; just good-intentions, and mostly ineffective.

_Tuesday.. why did I have to wake up on Tuesday... why..._

Hinata was one miserable little, horomonal teen.

_

* * *

_

_Love me still?_

Ugh... hate this chapter. Only 600 words. 


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